Why Connection Heals: Feeling Safe, Supported and Held

For a long time, I didn’t realise just how isolated I had become.

Living with a chronic condition has a way of quietly shrinking your world. Your energy changes. Your confidence shifts. And before you know it, you’re surviving getting through each day rather than truly living. I will be honest, I was depressed, heavily medicated and constantly on edge — crying for no apparent reason, jumping at the slightest thing, overwhelmed by noise, expectations and everyday life.

What I understand now is that my nervous system was completely dysregulated, I was constantly in “fight or flight”.

And if I am truthful, it had probably been that way for most of my life.

Anxiety. Stress. People-pleasing. Always being busy. Always running at full speed.
These weren’t personality traits — they were coping mechanisms. My body had learned to stay alert, to stay in control to stay safe.

When chronic illness arrived, that way of living simply wasn’t sustainable anymore.

Letting Go of who I used to be💚

One of the biggest lessons on this journey has been grief — grieving the old version of myself. The person who could do more, push harder and say yes without thinking twice.

I had to gently release who I thought I should be, before I could discover who I was becoming.

And for a while, that felt incredibly uncomfortable. I didn’t know who I was without the busyness, the roles, the constant doing. But it was also the doorway into something much deeper.

The healing power of shared experience🤍

Things began to shift when I attended the in person Long Covid clinic at the hospital and Chronic Pain workshops run by the charity Live at Home.

For the first time in a long time, I was in spaces where I didn’t need to explain myself. There was no judgement. No pressure to look well. No fear of being misunderstood on a “good day”. No having to say “I’m fine”.

People could see the exhaustion, the pain and the effort it took just to get out of the house and be there.

And something beautiful happened — connection.

I was able to share tips, offer encouragement and simply listen. Helping others, even in small ways, reminded me that I still had purpose, value and light to offer.

I was surprised, but Connection wasn’t draining me.
It was regulating me!

Small steps back into life💜

Slowly, I began taking small, gentle steps back into the real world. Coffee dates with family and friends. Sometimes sitting alone in a café, working quietly on what would eventually become my Reiki business.

It got me out of the house and gave my days shape again.

One day, I bumped into someone in a coffee shop completely out of the blue and we agreed to meet for a coffee. She’s now one of my closest friends. A simple moment of connection that changed everything.

Healing often happens in the most ordinary, human ways.

Five years on — a different chapter💚

This journey hasn’t been quick. It’s been over five years of listening, learning and rebuilding.

I’m now fully off medication. I still have to pace myself — that’s part of honouring my body — but I’m now able to walk in nature most days (after being unable to exercise at all!!). Those walks have become essential for me. They ground me, regulate my nervous system and reconnect me to myself.

I’ve lost weight. I’m socialising more. I feel more present with my family and friends than I have in years.

I’m not “back to how I was” — and I don’t want to be.
I’m healthier, more aware and far more connected than I ever was before.

Coming back to Reiki — and Myself🤍

At some point, I asked myself: what do I really have to lose?

I had trained in Reiki around 20 years ago, but life had taken over. Returning to it felt like coming home. I committed to a 21-day self-healing practice and supported myself with Reiki, crystals, cold dipping, nature and — most importantly — connection.

This wasn’t about fixing myself.
It was about listening. Softening. Rebalancing.

And slowly, I felt more like me again — not the old version, but a new one rooted in awareness, compassion and self-trust.

That journey led me to where I am now — offering Reiki and Crystal energy healing, Spiritual and Life coaching, and holding safe, non-judgmental spaces for others who are struggling on their own journeys.

Why Connection truly heals💜

Connection is one of the most powerful regulators of the nervous system - when we feel safe, seen and supported, the body can finally allow itself to breath.

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation.
It happens in relationship — with ourselves and with others.

This is why I now volunteer with Live at Home, supporting people experiencing isolation. Did you know there are SO many lonely people on our island? It makes me so sad but since I have been volunteering it has shown me just how much we need one another.

As a community, we heal when we come together.
When we check in with one another.
When we listen.
When we create spaces where people feel they belong.

This is the heart of the work I do.

If you’re struggling, feeling disconnected or unsure where to turn, please know this: you are not broken, and you are not alone. There are people, practices and places that can support you while you find your way.

This is the space I hold.
With understanding. With compassion. Without judgement.

If this resonates with you, you’re very welcome to reach out. Sometimes healing begins simply by feeling held.

Love & Light,

Donna Marie x